Minnesotans for Global Warming has to be the hottest political groups in the Twin Cities. They jokingly ask people to stop breathing since we contribute to CO2 the global emissions.

I had the good fortune of meeting the brains behind M4GW this past weekend.  Check out their blog.

Gary Mathes, an Alaskan native, is out pushing the none-of-the-above ticket as part of his “VOTE 4 JESUS” campaign on the streets of Denver and St. Paul. (“Denver was work, but St. Paul has been a vacation.”)

Meet Gary Mathes: Jesus’ one-man motorcycle brigade (more at CityPages)

Jesus is just all right with this guy (more at StarTribute)

“The Lord does not like pride, but all these candidates are proud. Pride is an abomination unto the Lord. That’s why I don’t vote. I won’t vote for either of them. But I will support whoever wins. I’m just an honorable, humble American who loves his country.”

Commenting on Sarah Palin’s qualifications:

Sarah Palin, with the $1,200 energy package she provided to Alaska residents, paid for his trip. Mathes says. That doesn’t mean he’s a fan, though. “She’s as smart as a rock,” he laughs. “She was a basketball star and a second-runner-up in the Miss Alaska pageant, and the governor’s race in Alaska is a popularity contest. She’s not as experienced as she needs to be, but look at the ones who are experienced. They aren’t doing a lot for us.”

Nonetheless, Mathes is excited about the possibility of having an Alaskan in the executive branch. “Maybe if the old man dies of natural causes, we’ll have an Alaskan president,” he chuckled. “She’s not ready though, but she’s a good girl.”

The Daily Planet posted part one their unofficial visitor’s guide to the 2008 RNC and the twin cities to assist the many out-of-towners during their visit. And check out their RNC blog. The Pioneer Press (TwinCities.com) has an RNC page too.

An Introduction to Minneapolis St. Paul

So you’re very excited, I’m sure, to be coming to Minneapolis for the RNC. Minneapolis is, of course, a fine city, home to the Vikings, Twins, and Timberwolves, as well as the Walker Art Center and the internationally renowned Guthrie Theatre. It’s a center of economics and industry, whose name literally means “water city.”

Well too bad, binky, because the RNC isn’t going to be held in Minneapolis. It’s going to be held in St. Paul. Get it straight, or you’re really going to make the East Siders feel bad.

Seriously, how many of you have an older sibling? I don’t, but I can pretend I do to give you this analogy: don’t you just hate their freakin’ guts? Well, that’s how St. Paul feels about Minneapolis, except for the fact that Minneapolis is a little bit younger than St. Paul, but whatever. Point is, the good citizens of St. Paul feel a bit slighted every time someone like Katie Couric or Michele Bachmann or Gov. Tim Pawlenty goes on television to declare that everyone should come to Minneapolis for the convention. [2] Given that Minneapolis always seems to get all the publicity, all the love and attention, its pictures put up on the state refrigerator – well, it stings.

So remember, as you’re going to the Xcel Energy Center, home of the Minnesota Wild, that you’re not in Minneapolis. You’re in St. Paul. And so if you see a local, make sure you complement them on the beauty of St. Paul. “Boy, St. Paul sure is lovely,” you’ll say, and the locals will smile broadly, and say, “Well, you know, yeah, I suppose it’s a nice enough town.” Which is practically a touchdown dance around these parts.

Of course, if you’re attending an event in Minneapolis, feel free to ignore all of this; Minneapolitans often forget St. Paul exists, and will look at you strangely if you bring the city up.

the rest here

The Olympics aren’t the only contest of human skill taking place right now. A lesser known contest is the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest awards for the worst works of fiction named in honor of the British author, Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, whose 1830 book Paul Clifford opened with these infamous words:

“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents–except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (BLFC) is a tongue-in-cheek contest that takes place annually and is sponsored by the English Department of San José State University in San Jose, California. Entrants are invited “to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels” — that is, deliberately bad. A prize of US$250 is awarded.

Some selections from this years entries here.

Watch it. Episodes are also available online.

Some fans threatened to never attend another Saints baseball game over the tasteless souvenir that will be given away at the game. They are giving away “bobblefoot” stalls to commemorate both National Tap Dance Day and the Senator Larry Craig incident at the MSP airport last year. WCCO gets reactions from fans.

I can certainly understand why parents would be upset – how do they explain this to their kids?  It’s not very family-friendly entertainment.

ST. PAUL, MN (May 21, 2008) – Some of the most famous dance halls in the country include Radio City Music Hall in New York, the Fox Theater in Detroit and now the list includes a restroom at the Minneapolis/St. Paul Airport. With so much fanfare around dancing, the St. Paul Saints will honor “tappers” during National Tap Dance Day.

During the Sunday, May 25 game the first 2,500 fans in attendance will receive a bobblefoot. The design is a bathroom stall, with a foot that peaks out of the bottom and “taps” up and down. The day coincides with National Tap Dance Day.

While many people tap their foot because they are impatient, others may do it because they are nervous. It doesn’t matter if your tapping style is done with a “wide stance” or is used as some sort of code, the Saints are asking all fans to tap to their heart’s content on May 25.

The stalls are already popping up on eBay:

When the wannabe robber was admitted to the hospital for treatment, he was asked what he did for a living. He told the officers, “I rob.”

Watch this news report on the incident.

Story:

Kassa reportedly dragged one employee into an office behind the showroom, where he found a second employee. He also found a filing cabinet which he ordered the employees to open, apparently thinking it was a safe.

When Kassa discovered it was full of phone cards, he pistol whipped one of the employees, West St. Paul Police Detective Kevin O’Neill said.

Kassa didn’t realize a third person was in the back of the store, where they called 9-1-1 from.

Kassa reportedly scooped up cash from the store’s tills and had the employees put it in a Sprint bag.

According to police reports, he then produced a roll of duct tape and ordered one employee to tie up the other. Then he ordered the bound employee to tie up the other. After the employees explained how that would be impossible, he tied up the second employee himself.

O’Neill said Kassa then led the two employees out the back door of the store, apparently overlooking the store’s actual safe, which was unlatched at the time. He tried to destroy the store’s security camera system; however, the cameras were linked to a central system outside the store.

Finally, the three exited through the back door, which automatically locked behind them.

When the police arrived, Kassa reportedly fled on foot, ditching the gun but keeping the money. Police said they chased him for about a block until he collapsed, wheezing, from an asthma attack, still clutching the Sprint bag containing the loot. The gun was later recovered by a K-9 unit.